Home p's & q's
P's and Q's (ie: rules)
Written by Karen Sterling   

THIS PART OF THE DATE ALWAYS STAYS THE SAME:

INCALLS:
  1. I greet you at door with a lingering kiss and hug
  2. We get the paperwork out of the way….I prefer that you count it out in front of me
  3. You have a shower (remembering to clean your front and back bits, plus the underarm bits!!)
  4. Use breath freshener as supplied
  5. We merge sexily
OUTCALLS:
  1. If you are at a hotel: I need your full name, the hotel name and address, and telephone number, your room number
  2. If at a home address: I need your full name, your full address including postcode, your landline telephone number (this is for security purposes only I will not save it after the meeting is over)
  3. Once inside we get the paperwork out of the way, I prefer you count it out in front of me.
  4. I will go into your bathroom and change out of my discreet outfit into my sexy outfit and re-apply make-up etc.
  5. We then have sexy pleasurable fun
  6. Also please remember to shower before I arrive thank you!

IF YOU INTEND TO GO DOWN ON ME, OR INDEED KISS ME PASSIONATELY, THEN:

  1. Please be mindful of my sensitive skin if you have unshaved stubble so I don’t get scraped up. I am happy to meet men who have facial hair by way!

CODE OF CONDUCT:

  1. I do like interacting as I said but I don’t appreciate getting excessive texts asking lots of questions. If you have a lot of questions to ask, email me them all and I will answer.
  2. If you make a booking I need you to confirm it one hour beforehand. With bookings taking place in the future, I need to have notice a day beforehand as well as an hour before.
  3. If you make a booking and don’t confirm it, I will make a note of that.
  4. If you make a booking and confirm and then don’t show up, then I will only give you one more chance to redeem yourself. If you make another booking and don’t show you are then on my banned list.
  5. If on the meeting you are disrespectful by not adhering to my very few rules then you will be banned
  6. If you are violent or nasty I will have no hesitation in calling in my security to take ‘care of you’ or report you to the police.
  7. I don’t drink alcohol and do not wish to see people who are drunk.
  8. I don’t take drugs and do not wish to see people who wish to take drugs in my presence, or anyone who is stoned.
  9. Also my personal details are personal. Please do not ask me my ‘real name’ or where I live, thank you.
  10. OVERNIGHT or 2nights or more: I NEED A DEPOSIT OF £200 PER BOOKING DAY.  This charge is necessary to weed out the considerable amount of timewasters who plague escorts with pretend overnight & weekend requests.  This deposit will be taken out of the full cost of booking.  Please contact me for methods of paying this deposit thank you.
  11. For bookings of 2 hours or more, same sad story as above, many many timewasters, so to prove your credibility, please make a £100 deposit -contact me directly for methods of paying the deposit.  Many thanks.
  12. NOTE ON DEPOSITS: If you make a deposit towards a booking, and for whatever reason cannot make the meeting, you will NOT lose your money.  I assume anyone who makes the deposit to be genuine in wanting to meet me. Therefore, the money you put towards a meeting i will hold until the time you can make the meeting, or i can refund it to you if so desired.
NOTES ON SHOWERING:
  1. Once you enter, and after payment is made, I launch into detailed showering instructions.  Please understand that I insist on you being just as clean and smelling good as I am for you.  If you showered this morning, that doesn't count!  You also need to use soap, not just trickle water over you. Special attention to your 'bits' of course, front and back.  Major wash of underarms and smell check after emerging from shower. I have underarm deodorants if you did not manage to eradicate the odour.  Then mouthwash.  Some men think: do I have to? Bit extreme isn't it? Well, no it isn't.  What if I smelled down there? What if my underarms stank? Wouldn't you be totally turned off and put off?
  2. Some men may think: this is just a ploy to use up my time.  I would never dream of employing such tactics be assured. Once you emerge from the shower that's when your time starts.
  3. If you are worried, I have unfragranced soaps available.
  4. Also, for outcalls please ensure you shower immediately before our alloted booking time starts.  In the thorough manner as above.
  5. Many many thanks! I have had to get this insistent and detailed because of past experience with very smelly men!  I don't find it a pleasant experience and I am sure you understand that.
MY VERY FEW RULES:
  1. Sex is always with a condom, ALWAYS.
  2. You CANNOT rub your cock on my pussy without a CONDOM on.
  3. I don’t offer anal so don’t ask and don’t try to put it in there anyway.
 

Contact

Tel: 07788-929-694
Email: slinky.number@googlemail.com

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